What is Ontological Coaching?

Let’s keep it simple. Ontology comes from the Greek roots ontos = being/entity and logos = study/science, and it means: the study of being. A fascinating definition brought to us by metaphysics because it carefully pauses to teach us that ontology is the study of being—that being which inhabits you and walks with you through life.

Given this, what intrigues me is: why, as beings, do we not spend more time understanding our essence, the deepest part of ourselves? This topic should be a part of our daily lives from a young age because knowing ourselves would allow us to live better.

We often hear that we should control our emotions because they can make us sick; that our thoughts can cause stress or heal us; that our words have power: we’re told to speak in the right tone, that if we shout, we risk not being heard, but if we whisper, perhaps we won’t be heard either. In other words: being (you, him, her, me) is a whole composed not only of a body but also of emotions and language.

So, let’s untangle this story: Ontology studies being, and being is Body, Emotion, and Language, with a unique identity—yours.

In the morning, when you wake up, these three elements are with you. When you get to work, they’re still there; when you have lunch, they’re there too, and when you get home, they haven’t changed. However, something does change throughout the day because, in truth, everything changes.

You wake up feeling hopeful, your family is well, you’re excited to go to work, and since your body is rested, your mind thinks: “Today is going to be a great day!” By midday, things might still be going well, or perhaps something has unsettled you. You feel annoyed, your neck might be tense, and your inner dialogue is no longer the same as it was when you woke up. Then we realise that, indeed, everything changes.

Wow! You’ll realise that, although you are the same person, you haven’t always felt the same. Yes, you are the same being, inhabited by a world of changing emotions, influenced by your environment and your thoughts; by a body that fills with energy and then tires; and by a language that varies depending on what you hear, see, taste, smell, touch, or feel. Fascinating, isn’t it?

At this point, I want to invite you to do an exercise. Check in with your body, your emotions, and the language that accompanies you at least three times: when you wake up, before lunch, and at the end of the day. Do this for two or three days, and start observing the coherence between your body, emotions, and language. Notice how the being that inhabits you behaves.

Well, my intention is to clarify this concept of ontology, but if I’ve gone on too long, let’s recap: Ontology is the study of being, and being is body, emotion, and language—elements that frequently change.

Now, let’s talk about coaching. To explain what coaching is, I’ll first tell you what it is not. Coaching is not about giving advice on how to get along with your boss or your partner, nor about guiding you to get a promotion at work. A coach is not an expert in finances, nor a consultant, nor a counsellor; and most importantly, a coach doesn’t have the answers.

Socrates (470–399 BC) said that all knowledge lies within each person and that wisdom is achieved as we come to know ourselves.

Coaching is, therefore, the art of listening and asking: listening to the being—body, emotion, and language—and asking “powerful questions,” questions that help you reflect, know yourself, challenge yourself, reach your own understanding, and, with it, develop your full potential to grow personally and professionally. Coaching helps you put your life into motion, redesign your path, take on challenges, embark on new projects, or navigate difficult situations.

The coach accompanies you; the term “coach” comes from trainer. Thus, ontological coaching is very powerful because it generates deeply valuable knowledge: yourself.

Welcome to this wonderful journey!